Weekly Horoscope: The Signs as Being Single on Valentine’s Day
February 12, 2018
Let’s kick it back to last year and resurrect “The Signs as…”
Living the single life on St. Valentine’s Day…
Aries – Playing video games and killing everyone on sight because there is no love in war
Taurus – Taking themselves out to Little Caesar’s and eating a whole pizza in their car
Gemini – Falling in love with characters in YA novels more than real people
Cancer – Reading the same fan-fiction over and over again and crying
Leo – “I love myself and don’t need anybody else.”
Virgo – Spending the night in with Mastering Chemistry
Libra – Reminding all of their friends that they are special and loved
Scorpio – Being secretive somewhere
Sagittarius – Getting hot and sweaty at the gym… alone
Capricorn – Ranting about how Valentine’s Day is just a consumerist-oriented day and a shallow interpretation of romance
Aquarius – Netflix and Chill…ed but melted ice-cream because your freezer broke
Pisces – Drawing about 30 different original characters and falling in love with each of them
