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Weekly Horoscope: The Signs as Being Single on Valentine’s Day

Sage Schaumburg, Entertainment Editor

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Let’s kick it back to last year and resurrect “The Signs as…”

Living the single life on St. Valentine’s Day…

Aries – Playing video games and killing everyone on sight because there is no love in war

Taurus – Taking themselves out to Little Caesar’s and eating a whole pizza in their car

Gemini – Falling in love with characters in YA novels more than real people

Cancer – Reading the same fan-fiction over and over again and crying

Leo – “I love myself and don’t need anybody else.”

Virgo – Spending the night in with Mastering Chemistry

Libra – Reminding all of their friends that they are special and loved

Scorpio – Being secretive somewhere

Sagittarius – Getting hot and sweaty at the gym… alone

Capricorn – Ranting about how Valentine’s Day is just a consumerist-oriented day and a shallow interpretation of romance

Aquarius – Netflix and Chill…ed but melted ice-cream because your freezer broke

Pisces – Drawing about 30 different original characters and falling in love with each of them

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Weekly Horoscope: The Signs as Being Single on Valentine’s Day