Dear Vision,

The A/C has been out on my floor and it’s like, literal Hades up there. What should I do to keep getting bread instead of getting toast?

Sincerely,

Burning Up My Homework.

Dear Burning Up My Homework,

First thing, are you okay? I hope you are because by the end of this you’re not only going to be getting toast but be it. I suggest keeping your body iced, stand in a cool shower. Also, I am certain that there are things called fans. Buy one. There are cheap ones for $2 if you are really broke. There’s also the option of leaving your room to a lower floor where your friends might be staying (as heat rises). If you don’t have any friends, leave the dorm. I’m sure there are other buildings that have air conditioning (I would suggest the library). If none of this advice appeals to you, I suggest you start making the best out of it. Why don’t you set out a bag of unpopped popcorn, or a plate of eggs to cook in the toasty atmosphere? If it’s as hot as you’re implying, then maybe you could use that to your advantage (and skip a trip to the cafeteria). You can use the sounds of popcorn popping to distract you from the heat; it’s the best kind of entertainment.

Sincerely with concern,

The Vision