Dear Vision

Dear Vision,

Ever since the new privilege plans went out, I have found it extremely difficult to stay inside and actually do my work. I would much rather go driving with my friends or binge Waffle House than do my Mastering Chem. Not only is my credit suffering but my grades are also taking a turn for the worse. Do you have any tips for getting my focus back?

Sincerely,

Fuel Using Fiend

 

Dear Fuel Using Fiend,

It seems to me that you have a severe case of spring fever, and it’s normal to feel restless and unmotivated at this point in the semester. Unfortunately, you have to come to terms with the fact that while Waffle House may be a home, the dorm is yours. So, I believe it’s in your best interest to knock out that Mastering Chem before you go out. If this still proves to be impossible for you, politely ask your roommate to tie you to your desk chair until your homework is done.

Good Luck,

Spring Fever Survivor


Dear Vision,

My floor smells ridiculously bad. It’s almost as if dirty socks met ramen and had a child. I don’t know who, what or where it’s coming from, but I need some advice on how to put an end to the burning of my nostrils.

Please help,

Fresh Air Fighter

 

Dear Fresh Air Fighter,

Are you sure that it isn’t you or your suite? Walk around and inspect every inch of your dorm and relay the message to your fellow classmates. There is definitely something causing a stench, and it’s only going to get worse. In the meantime, go to Dollar General and buy as many little tree air fresheners as possible. These will provide to fight off that rancid smell.

Best of Luck,

Able Breathing Buddy