‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ was a fall

The last Star Wars movie wasn’t just bad. It was horrible.

Walt Disney Studios Pictures [Fair use]

The last Star Wars movie wasn’t just bad. It was horrible.

Luke Bowles, Staff Writer

When I sat in the theater to see “The Rise of Skywalker,” I had my popcorn in hand, gummy worms ready, and I was incredibly excited to see the movie I’d been waiting for the eight years since Disney bought Star Wars. Why not expect the best from such a storied movie franchise? Sure, “The Last Jedi” wasn’t the greatest, but I never once imagined that the most popular movie franchise in history would end in any way but amazing. When I left the theater, I almost puked from having to stare at garbage for 2 hours and 35 minutes straight. 

There were glaring plot holes, and much of the dialogue sounded forced. You might think Disney would attempt some originality in the final movie of the installment, but boy… you would be wrong. I don’t know who fought harder, the characters in their weak fight scenes, or me trying not to fall asleep. 

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

When Finn (John Boyega) tells Rey (Daisy Ridley) three times that he has something very important to tell her, I was left on the edge of my seat, waiting, waiting, waiting, still waiting… Oh yeah, I never stopped waiting because he never told her, despite mentioning it three times. Even worse, there was no explanation about it, whatsoever. 

And now force ghosts can apparently manipulate objects in the real world? I didn’t even know what was going on in that scene. Also, Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) tells Rey to have more respect for her lightsaber, but I distinctly remember a scene in “The Last Jedi” when he throws it on the ground with no consideration. 

Despite not being seen since 1983, Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) is alive. Look at that… something else that makes absolutely zero sense! Not only is he alive, but apparently, Rey is his granddaughter despite Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) telling her that her parents were nobodies. Wow, this is really going great.

But wait, there’s more! Apparently this whole time he’s made countless extremely large spaceships. Who made them? Where did the natural resources required to build such an expansive fleet come from considering that they were all built on a hidden planet? Wait, sorry, I forgot–logic no longer applies to this movie. 

In all fairness, there were some good parts. When C-3P0 is about to have his memory wiped, he looks at everyone and says that he’s just taking one last look at his friends. That got me. It was nice seeing Lando brought back, and it was really cool to see Chewy get the medal he missed out on at the end of “A New Hope” (for all the die-hards who remember that). The special effects were incredible and the only good aspect of a terrible movie overall.  

I wanted this movie to be good. I truly did. I hate to think so negatively about a small piece of a wonderful movie franchise, but nothing can change this botched attempt at a series conclusion. If there were about 20 fewer plot holes, a few logical sequences, a theme, or simply anything to save me from the boring onslaught of predictability, maybe, just maybe, it would’ve been all right. The last Star Wars movie wasn’t just bad. It was horrible. Way to go shattering my dreams, Disney, way to go.

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