Dear Vision

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Dear Vision

Simeon Gates and Ethan Hill

Dear Vision,

It’s only the first week of September but I’m spread thinner than butter. I have a test every day this week. I signed up for eight clubs and somehow got officer positions in half of them. I have to write an essay, write a lab report, read ten pages for English and present a group project by Friday. Last week, I stayed up until 1 in the morning finishing homework. I am running on coffee, two hours of sleep and pure anxiety alone. The equations in my textbook are starting to look like my Russian homework. Help me.

Sincerely, 

Tired Eyes

 

Dear Tired Eyes, 

First of all, breathe. Stop for a second. Go to your room right after class and nap for an hour. Put down the coffee and drink some water. For tonight, just focus on whatever work is due tomorrow. Make sure to take breaks to eat and rest. 

It sounds like you are over-scheduled. Start by dropping the clubs you are less interested in. Talk to your teachers and see if you can turn in your assignments late. You can make up the ten or so points later in the semester. While it seems like the easiest choice, putting school above your basic health does not pay off in the long run. Your work will be done, but I doubt your math teacher will be able to grade your homework if it’s in another language. At the end of this week, reward yourself by sleeping in all weekend. 

Good Luck,

A Well-Rested Senior


Dear Vision,

My roommate smells really bad. Like, horrible. Imagine if a dump truck unloaded on a landfill with fifty tons of rotten cream cheese-kinda bad. I don’t know whether to compare him to rotting meat or toe fungus, but somewhere in between the two. What can I do to get my roommate smelling like a healthy, clean, person again and not a garbage dump?

Gratefully, 

A Nose in Pain

 

Dear Nose in Pain, 

It is always a shame to have your roommate smell bad. Sometimes, I will be doing homework ahead of schedule, not procrastinating, and my roommate will come back from classes for the day. He kicks off his “Adidas” and I immediately lose the ability to think. Here are some things I have done to detoxify my roommate:

The first step is most important. Make sure they go to MSMS 101. These instructors are the most skilled at properly instructing students on the ever-so-basic day-to-day task they have been performing for the last decade or more. 

Now you can help them follow up on their much-needed lecture from res life staff.

Second, send them into the shower, with soap, and, with the help of your suite mates, lock them in the shower from both sides. Force them to shower for a desired minimum time until you think the funk is gone. 

Finally, make sure they apply deodorant. They may have to do this multiple times a day, especially if they partake in physical activity throughout the day. Also make them brush their teeth and use other toiletries.

Hopefully this process will help you survive through the rest of the year. I am sorry you had to go through this endeavor and wish you the best.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nose Working for The Vision

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