Dear Vision,

College applications are coming up, and I’m really stressed out about it. All my hair is falling out. What can I do to get my hair back? 

Thank you,

A balding senior

Dear A Balding Senior,

Well, you can start by donating your hair. Get in that community service. Maybe, now that you are bald, become a monk. Cut out the middleman. At least you will save a lot of money. No more shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, dry shampoo, oils, clips, etc. Think of it this way; you are just taller than your hair.

On a more serious note, take a nice bath. Not at the dorms but once you go home. Maybe do a face mask. Lounge in self-care. Once you have stopped losing your hair, do your applications. Once you finish them, you will feel better than if you procrastinated. If your hair still falls out, then own your baldness. Rock your shiny egg head.

Sincerely,

A staff writer with a full head of hair