A Day in the Life of a Narcoleptic Procrastinator
April 29, 2019
7:35 AM: The alarm clock blares, causing me to question the existence of a superior being. I reluctantly throw my phone across my bed and close my eyes for “just a few more minutes.”
7:55 AM: Twenty minutes later, I am crawling out of my bed and searching through my expansive collection of sweatpants with a toothbrush protruding out of my mouth.
7:57 AM: I casually race out of Frazer Hall, maneuvering my way around the familiar potholes that litter the road adjacent to Goen. Today, just like any other day, I am late for Tales.
8:01 AM: I barge into the classroom to the merciful Mr. Yarborough, who almost certainly just entered the classroom twenty seconds prior to me. I sit at my desk, immediately turn to the student behind me, Catherine Li, and steal whatever delicacy she brings to class.
9:00 AM: After exiting Shack, I attend Dr. Curtis’ University English I class to turn in the research paper I so valiantly worked on.
9:03 AM: I am already out of Dr. Curtis’ class, which totally not a common occurrence.
9:04 AM: I enjoy one of my favorite parts about MSMS: an off period. I waltz my way back to Frazer and leisure up to 319 where I promptly begin studying, as you are expected to do during any off period at MSMS.
11:00 AM: After studying my bedsheets and pillow for an hour and a half, my alarm rings once again and I shimmy down my top bunk and see God himself, Dr. Bill Odom, in upstairs Hooper for study hall Genetics. There, you will usually find me navigating between the tasks of identifying trigonometric identities and learning about the genetic evolution of man.
12:00 AM: Following Genetics is my favorite class at MSMS. I run down to the student lounge and recruit members to join me on the adventure to Hogarth Dining Facility. Now, I am not excited about the frozen food at Hogarth, but instead by the environment. This is where all the people I love convene and it gives me the little hope in humanity that I need to complete the day.
1:00 PM: After lunch is Trigonometry, and I wish I could tell you about this, I truly do, but I don’t know anything going on in there myself.
2:00 PM: Next up is Chemical Reactions with Mrs. Truitt. Truitt is my own personal rockstar, and although I could never imagine Ozzy Osbourne teaching me about the intramolecular forces or a member of the Grateful Dead hammering the concept of viscosity into my head, Mrs. Truitt somehow always manages to pull it off.
3:00 PM: After Chem Reactions, its real sleep hours. I venture across the hall to Josh Seid’s room and immediately crash on Cade Burton’s blue couch.
4:00 PM: Reggie Zheng barges into my begging for someone to take him to Chick-fil-a. Being the generous southern gentleman I am, I yell at him to get out, only to be forced out of my rest by Collin Jeck, Brady Suttles and Timothy Lewis.
5:00 PM: I enter the doors of Hooper once again for journalism, by far my most favorite class.
7:00 PM: During study hours, in which I am supposed to get busy on the endless amount of Mastering Chemistry and essays I am to complete, I once again find myself in a slumber.
9:00 PM: I decide that it is actually time to start on my work, but once again, I get a call to go eat. The most existential question I have for myself appears in that moment: Do I go grab a bite to eat with friends or work on the growing mountain of assignments on my desk?
9:00:01 PM: I go get my keys and meet my friends downstairs.
11:00 PM: After a long day of sleeping, eating and pretending to be studious, I make the decision to finally go to sleep.
Takeaway: MSMS made me develop narcolepsy.
Matthew Bingham • Jan 1, 2021 at 8:16 pm
Good to hear I’m not the only narcoleptic that loves like this, the amount of tasks I don’t complete in a day could fill a book….
Kristin Howitt • May 6, 2019 at 8:53 pm
I remember my days of being the MSMS narcoleptic. It’s been a while. 😀
Rick Smuth • May 5, 2019 at 8:52 pm
Great job, Davan!