Well friends, here we are again. I’m feeling a little more unstable than normal, so I hope this week is more entertaining than normal. Maybe it’s the cold in the air or the smell of fried chicken from the cafeteria, but I think it’ll be a good week. The stars agree. #WhatAmIDoingWithMyLife #QuarterLifeCrisis #IsAdairMentallyOkay?
Capricorn: I think you need to take a day to chill-ax. You seem a little too stressed. Get some wellness hours by swinging on the swings for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. It’s late. You missed room checks. You lost your privilege plan. Sucks to suck much, muchacho.
Aquarius: You will pass your AP Calculus BC test. You will … you will …
Pisces: Listen to “Storms” by Railroad Earth. I feel like you’re going to like that song. And if you don’t, I hate you now, and you will fail that test.
Aries: I noticed you got pretty new clothes for the fall season. It looks good. That’s it.
Taurus: I feel bad. I’ve given you two bad predictions, so let’s change that. This week, you’ll come across something that makes you happy. Maybe a twenty-dollar bill on the ground, candy in Mrs. Nisa’s police box or my calculator that I lost. It’s orange, and I miss it. I want it back, and I’m willing to pay you a reward for its return.
Gemini: Shot in the dark — you prefer cherry Pop-Tarts over the strawberry ones.
Cancer: Stop procrastinating on your college apps. It’s very very very important, and you need to start doing them ASAP. You’ll thank yourself and Davidson in the long run.
Leo: Why did zombies get divorced? Their marriage was dead.
Virgo: Look Virgo, I’m really tired, and it’s almost midnight. I want to go to sleep and not finish writing yours. I’ll write a super duper awesome one next week for you.
Libra: I know we’ve had a rocky relationship over these last two weeks, but I want to turn over a new leaf. And on the other side of that leaf is an ‘A’ on whatever test you are stressing about the most.
Scorpio: It’s your month … I think. I’m too lazy to Google it, so I’m just guessing. Your Halloween costume is going to be amazing. I can’t wait to see it! During trick-or-treating, you’re going to have the BEST candy (I like Reese’s and Sour Patch Kids).
Sagittarius: You know what you did.
