Gaines: Horoscope Predictions: Week of 10/7/2024

Adair Gaines, Podcast Editor

October 7, 2024

Adair Gaines performs a morbidly festive palm reading which reveals all of the universe’s secrets.

After consulting the stars and my many decks of tarot cards, the universe beckoned me to alert you of these completely accurate messages. I hope as you read these, you glimpse into my mind and very soul, as I have glimpsed into yours. #StressingAndGuessing #TooStressedToBeBlessed #MovingAndGrooving <3

Capricorn: You are extremely hardworking in all your subjects, especially English. However, sometimes time management is not your best skill. Eventually, your excuses on why you need an extension might not work out. I know you have a big essay coming up. It’s always better to get it done ahead of time, so it can be edited. Your English grade will thank you.

Aquarius: Stop watching YouTube and do your Mastering Chemistry — unless you’re watching the Organic Chemistry Tutor. Send him my best. #AquariusNation (Section Editor’s Note: Adair is an Aquarius.)

Pisces: Flip a coin. Heads, you pass Calculus. Tails, you fail. Don’t even bother studying more to make up for this. You’ll just waste time.

Aries: Go outside, take a deep breath and run back to your dorm. That assignment you forgot about is due in two minutes. RUNNNNN!!!!!

Taurus: You seem sad. Here’s a joke: your physics grade. Bye bye to your privilege plan and pray your friends like you enough to buy you Sonic — or “borrow” a credit card and order DoorDash.

Gemini: Look deep within your heart … and your fridge. It’s time to clean it. Mrs. Latoya is not merciful when it comes to spoiled food. Your roommate can smell it, your floormates can smell it and I can, too. Clean it, for the love of God.

Cancer: Instead of wasting time reading this, work on your essay. It needs it. Mr. Richardson is not a harsh man, but he secretly hates you. Add a paragraph praying for a passing grade on your English Literature essay. It’s due Wednesday at 8 a.m. Start NOW!

Leo: You cannot survive on two hours of sleep and three Red Bulls. Good on you for trying; I appreciate your determination, but go to sleep.

Virgo: You’ll sleep through your alarm Friday. Mrs. Nisa will be very upset with you. Consider pulling an all-nighter, so this does not happen. See the entry for Leo.

Libra: Congrats, you will win the Weekly Wednesday Door Prize!

Scorpio: Libra will win the prize. Make sure that doesn’t happen.

Sagittarius: Someone is going to hold the door open for you in Hooper, but you are at an awkward distance. You’ll run-walk and trip on the stairs. But hey, you don’t have to turn in that homework!

About the Contributors

Adair Gaines, Podcast Editor

Adair Gaines is a senior from Boyle. She enjoys crushing her enemies on the tennis courts, singing loudly out of nowhere and obsessively talking about Queen. She loves drawing funny cartoons and monologuing on podcasts for The Vision. This year, she hopes to do a cartwheel, get into her dream college and watch all the movies on her and her roommate’s movies-to-watch list. Although she has a career crisis every other day, she is pretty sure she wants to be a chemical engineer.

Morgan Smith, Co-Editor-in-Chief

Morgan Smith is a senior from Corinth. Outside of The Vision, she’s involved in English Peer Tutoring, English Outreach, Young Democrats and many other clubs. She enjoys reading, writing and crying about nothing. She especially loves getting emotionally attached to characters in T.V. shows, only to then abandon the series without finishing it. This year, she hopes to overcome the crushing indecisiveness holding her back from choosing her career path and college major, but she’ll probably do something vaguely related to the humanities.