Whenever Pete Davison makes a joke, the first thing I do is laugh. The next thing I do is tamp down the overwhelming urge to pull him into a hug and ask, “Are you okay?” and “Alive from New York” was no different. In the special, Davidson touches on an encounter with the now disgraced Louis C.K., tackles double standards and cancel culture, and reflects on the legacy of his deceased father, a 9/11 hero. This and more in just shy of 50 minutes. 

The cold open was one of the strongest points in the special. In it, he recounted his first meeting with Louis C.K. 

“At the time, he was someone you would look up to and want approval of,” Davidson stressed. “At the time.”

Louis C.K. was not too fond of Davidson because he thought Davidson was going to “smoke his career away.” And for a while, Davidson told, it ate at him until he woke up “one glorious morning” to news that Louis C.K. was under fire for flashing women. Elated, he said, “I didn’t want it to happen, but if it was gonna happen to anyone I’m glad it was him.” 

This bit was one of the few portions of the show that I think could hold its own against more professionally delivered and written material. As much as I love Davidson, the special wasn’t perfect. In fact, I think I’d go as far as to say it wasn’t even close to perfect. He seemed uncomfortable in front of the camera, his tenseness only made more obvious by the suit he didn’t seem all that comfortable in either. 

The small audience made it painfully obvious when a joke didn’t work to both the viewers and Davidson who would shrug minutely and move on. He couldn’t seem to stop giggling at himself which was endearing, at times, but more often than not left me feeling like he was enjoying things more than I was. The disharmony of the show was heightened by Davidson’s lack of proper transitions. 

“Let’s do some 9/11 jokes and then we’ll get the [expletive] out of here,” he said, shifting from talking about Ariana Grande to his dad. 

Missteps aside, I think the show is representative of a lot, including where Davidson has been, where he is at, and where he’s going from here. Davidson has never been shy about his struggles with depression, substance abuse and mental illness. 

He got very candid about it in a recent interview with “The Breakfast Club”  co-host Charlamagne Tha God. “I’m always depressed, all the time. I have to constantly bring myself out of it,” said Davidson. “I wake depressed, but now I know my steps. I have to go outside and be in sun for a little bit, or go for a walk. It’s all just programming yourself to trick your brain.”

When he stands before his audience, I think a large part of his appeal lies in the fact that he mirrors them. His majority millennial and Gen-Z audience are infamously addled with mental illness and anxiety. To see someone with those same problems take their menagerie of hurt, wounds and bruises and turn it into comedy is meaningful in just the way that we need. 

As for where Davidson is going, this special is a shaky first step towards what seems like a rebranding. It’s clear that a departure from “Saturday Night Live” in the near future is inevitable. In the aforementioned interview, he expressed a desire for the 44th season to be his last. He is the lead in a Hulu movie “Big Time Adolescence” and a semi-autobiographical film about his life, “The King of Staten Island,” is set to come out this summer. 

I’ve been a Pete Davidson fan for all of three weeks and yet he’s quickly become one of my favorites over older comedians like Kevin Hart and Dave Chapelle. He joins a rank that includes the likes of Bo Burnham and John Mulaney–younger comedians whose sets seem to contain a tangible streak of melancholy that makes them and their comedy seem so much more real and a million times more enjoyable. Even when your laughter is often followed by a wince. 

“That’s how you know you’re rich, when you can swim in your own sadness,” Davidson said on the pool his mother bought him with his dad’s life insurance money. “Thank God Osama Bin Laden didn’t miss his alarm clock. You know why? Because I wouldn’t have a [expletive] pool!”

Though this special was not his best work, it speaks to potential. Pete Davidson is only 26; he has a lifetime ahead of him to build himself up and perfect his craft. In the meantime, myself and all of his other fans will continue to cheer him on and look to him for a laugh when we need it the most.