Dear Vision,

My toes are numb, face is red and my body is shaking. The long and anticipated cold weather is no longer favorable. It seems like just yesterday I was able to go to bed with shorts and a t-shirt, but now with the weather dropping faster than my GPA, I wake up shivering to death. Please help me before this cold becomes too unbearable.

Sincerely, 

A Hypothermic Resident

Dear Hypothermic Resident, 

I understand your struggle. The first thing you should do is complain to someone about how cold you are and maybe they will feel sorry for you. If they’re, in fact, heartless and don’t feel sorry, I suggest you invest in a several packs of hot hands–a pack of 20 might do. Since you can’t have personal heaters in the dorm, cuddling up in your dorm with layers of blankets should keep you warm. Walmart sells electric heating blankets that would be a nice thing to invest in if you want to have heat circulating around you at all times. With making a few investments, in no time you’ll be all heated up again, just in time for the frigid weather. I hope these tips help.

Warm Hugs, 

A Cold Weather Survivor