Dear Vision,

I am living with a thief. My roommate keeps eating all of my food, and I don’t know how to tell her to keep her paws off my ramen. At this point, she probably owes me at least twenty bucks in noodles! What do I say to make her stop?

Please help,

A Noodleless Nerd

Dear Noodleless Nerd,

You need to learn to set some boundaries. Do not let anyone come between you and your Asian delicacies. I suggest that you tape off your personal belongings from your roommate in order to assert dominance. If this still remains ineffective, start stealing some of her food and see how she likes it!

Best Wishes,

An Experienced Instigator

Dear Vision,

My roommate won’t stop singing, and I cannot concentrate. It is impossible to do my homework with her singing in the background. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it, and it’s driving me insane. My headphones can’t even tune her out anymore, and I’m too tone-deaf to sing along. Please help me.

Sincerely,

A Horrible Singer

Dear A Horrible Singer,

I’m sorry your roommate sings constantly. Have you tried asking her to stop? That’s the simplest way to approach the situation. Another option would be to give her song requests. This way at least she’ll be singing songs you like. If worst comes to worst, you could always join the choir. I’m sure they would love to teach you how to sing properly, so you can join in when your roommate is performing her in-room concerts. Hope you figure it out.

Wishing you the best,

The Vision